All about Daddy!

This has nothing to do with your pregnancy but everything to do with important characteristics that we want to instill in you as a child.

Your daddy is a very hardworking man. It is 16th Ramadan now, he is fasting but at the same time taking long 3-4 hour trips to Cairo. Sometimes, he leaves by Dhuhr only to return the next day at Fajr. During his time in Cairo, he is busy to his neck trying to get stuff done and people organized. It is not easy! The heat without good air-conditioning can really put off a fasting person. I know, I would back away, but he doesn’t. He perseveres and gets his job done.

We want you to be the same, hardworking, focussed, determined and strong. This ummah needs a lot of help and I want you to not only help but lead.

Yesterday was not fun for daddy. Things weren’t going the way he had organized them and there was a lot of time wasted. Obviously, he was annoyed and not happy, but he still made the trip down to his friend to help him. His friend, Abdul Jabbar, lives 2 hours away from Cairo and had some pinched nerve problem because of which he couldn’t walk for long. Daddy decided to bring him to Mansourah to visit a chiropractor here, during his treatment he would live in our house. Why am I telling you all this?

Imagine, 3-4 hour journey to Cairo, in the heat, little accomplished work-wise; all this leads to a cranky crusty daddy. But, he wanted to help his friend for the sake of Allaah, not for money, only to gain Allaah’s pleasure. He put his inconvenience to one side and focussed on what needs to be done.

We want to inculcate the same in you. Some characteristics you will acquire through genes and some through environment. Inshallaah, Allaah will make it easy for us to provide you surroundings that successfully teach all of these to make you a better Muslimah!

How Much You Mean to Me!

Tomorrow you will be 24 weeks old as a fetus! How time flies… I remember the first time I knew I was pregnant, I was all excited and scared all at the same time. Excited because I would have an angel to dote on and scared of losing you.

Most of my days now are filled with plans of what you can do and what you can’t do, of course because I deem it safe or unsafe. What your nursery should look like and must-have. The number of bottles of disinfectant I need to stock up on, don’t want any germ on my baby. I know, I sound like this crazy, OCD-ridden, possessive female, but I just can’t help not having this protective attitude towards you.

I am really hoping that this wears off as I want you to go ahead and explore and experiment. I don’t want my craziness be an impediment to your growth. Aaaaaahhhh, this motherhood thing is crazy!

There is going to be a day when you think that I stop you from doing everything, when you think that I suffocate you, when you think I don’t know how you feel, when you think I am the cause of your unhappiness; at that time the only solace I will be able to find is that I know I am doing it for your good and safety. Your every tear and sadness will surely break my heart into a thousand little pieces and I may be more hurt than you, but I am your mother. And, mothers are meant to guide, protect, love and heal.

Because I love you like a crazy woman, I am going to do things that you may not like or understand. Now, I know and understand my mothers’ actions and so will you know and understand too. That is just the way it is meant to be, the cycle of life!

Allowing my heart to be torn and ripped apart for your safety and happiness is something I can deal with. I may not be able to deal with you being hurt, just because I wasn’t able to protect you the way I am supposed to as a mother.

I hope you read this one day and realize that your mother with all of her imperfections and mistakes still loves you to pieces. Right now, I can’t wait to hold and hug you and feel you close to me. But, I have a feeling that I would want the same even when you are 10, 20, 30 until I live!

I love you, sweetie! You are my little angel!

Kicks and Punches, that NO ONE Feels!

I had to blog this one. Last night, you kept kicking or punching continuously for at least a whole 30 seconds. I didn’t bring Daddy’s attention to it. I wanted to wait to make sure you would go on. After 30 seconds, I felt quite confident that you would go on until Daddy’s hand makes it to my tummy. Alas! As soon as I said, ‘Honey, give me your hand’, you stop!!!!!

You just stopped!!!!!!!!

Or at least, you stopped kicking or punching hard enough for anyone to feel you. That was really funny. Daddy was disappointed. He was like it is almost 6 months and I haven’t felt my baby move. Hahahahahaa… Poor guy! We have seen you move during the ultrasounds but, feeling you move is just another amazing feeling that the poor man hasn’t yet been able to be a part of. Poor Man!!!

I find this whole issue really hilarious but I don’t think your father shares the same feeling… Hahahahahaha…

Still patiently waiting for your arrival… 😀

A Girl … It is…

Well, it was confirmed last night that you are going to be a beautiful girl, inshallaah! I wanted to celebrate, jump around and skip and dance, but it was waaayyyyyyy to HOT to deal with any extra activity.

This pregnancy has been weird so far. No fulfilled cravings, no maternity clothes so far, no extra TLC and no weight gain! Sigh! I hope I have a baby shower but that’s something that doesn’t appear to be on the radar. May be for all that I haven’t got, I may just be blessed with an extra special baby. Inshallaah.

It has been a long time since I have been here, just too lazy, I guess. Well for the most part complaining about the heat and lack of yummy food.

Right now, I miss my Mommy and Khala. I hope when you go through this phase of your life, I am right beside you, pampering and fattening you. Ameen…

Happy Sad

It is difficult to process these two conflicting feels at the same time. The happy news is that the doctor said you are a girl (probably). Not that I would be sad if you were a boy. I was just waiting to know the sex. The sad part is your growth doesn’t correspond with your age. You are supposed to be 20 weeks old, but the growth was that of a 19 week and 3 day baby.

I know my diet is really bad. But, now, I am determined to make sure I eat enough and healthy stuff. I can’t think of jeopardizing your health because of my weakness.

Today morning we went to a really bad hospital close to home. I had a bad pain in my abdomen and started worrying sick. Mom’s tend to do that! So, I rushed down there. I couldn’t wait to see you, if everything was ok with you. After it was confirmed you are doing well and I heard your heartbeat for the first time, I returned home with a smile. I slept as soon as I got home with a smile too, I was relieved and happy. Worried about your growth too.

Nowadays, I feel you moving in me. Kicking me, punching me and most probably head-butting me too! What a wonderful feeling it is. Having you so close to me, sometimes when I am sad or worried, I feel that you are giving me a comforting hug because your movements reduce. When I am happy and laughing, you start moving more, like you are having a party with me. You are such a comfort to me.

I don’t know how I am going to cope with all the love once you are born! I may just go crazy!

I love you sweetie, with all my heart. You are everything that I ever wanted.