Your Crazy Nani!

Your Nani is planning to buy you clothes and other stuff, right until you are 20! I am jealous. Very jealous. I want to go shopping toooooooooo… Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…

I love my Mommy and Daddy. I have to love them, I just have one mad woman serving as my mother and one lovey-dovey man as my father! And, you know what? They are crazy about you too!

Hehehehehehe… We are going to be one Big Happy Crazy Family… Let’s sing the Barney Song…

I love you
You love me
We are a happy family
With a great big hug
And a kiss from me to you
Won’t you say you love me too…

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Am I Enjoying My Pregnancy?

Ok, I am going to be honest in replying to this.

Am I enjoying my pregnancy so far? In a couple of days I will be 29 weeks into my first pregnancy, am I enjoying it?

Yes, I am enjoying. I am enjoying the kicks and jabs. I am enjoying the fact that I am going to be your mother. I am enjoying walking around with a big belly. I am enjoying being so close to my little baby. I am enjoying the fact that no one else can enjoy this special bond with you, right now (yes, I know that sounds selfish, but I am enjoying this fact a bit more than I should, probably because I am really lonely here and yearn to be with family).

Now, there are some things that I am not enjoying at all. It may sound as if I am complaining but I said I would be honest. So, here goes. I am not enjoying the fact that I can’t be with my family (your grand-parents) who are the only ones that would pamper me like crazy. I am not enjoying the heat one bit. I am not enjoying the food, I want what I am craving for, not just anything to keep me and you alive. I am not enjoying not having any maternity stuff. I am not enjoying being here all alone (oops, redundant, I am really hating it). I am not enjoying the idea of delivering you in Egypt (the thought stresses me out).

And, then there is the stress of how life will change after 16th December!

Conclusion: Yes, I am enjoying your pregnancy. Everything has its ups and downs, I may never forget the downs as I am not going through my first pregnancy as I dreamt it would be.

BUT, whenever I look down at my growing belly, I always smile and think of the time you are spending in there jabbing and kicking, something no one has felt yet except me. It warms my heart knowing that our bond has already started, way before your birth (I am going to cry when you are out because I will have to share you with everyone… Sigh!)

The fact is, right now, you are ONLY MINE and no one elses. I share you with no one for nine whole months. And, this supersedes everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Sugar and spice and all things nice.

What are little boys made of?

“Snips and snails, and puppy dogs tails. That’s what little boys are made of!”

What are little girls made of?

“Sugar and spice and all things nice. That’s what little girls are made of!”

Ultrasound # I Don’t Know

You doing well in there, alhamdullilaah. I saw your big head, your teeny heart, your backbone and limbs!! Your heart went boom-boom, your backbone was soooooo clear, your limbs weren’t very apparent to me and you have made my lungs a comfortable cushion for your head, no wonder I am always gasping for air. Yup, you are head up and limbs down, better change your position by delivery time, I don’t want to be cut up. That’s the procedure here, a breech baby is delivered only by caesarean.

I put on 3kgs since the last visit, that is 4 kgs on the total!!!!! 3 kgs in 5 weeks!!!! I am certainly growing and so are you, alhamdullilaah. The constant headaches and migraines are probably because of the low blood pressure, now I know what to correct to get rid of those awful migraines.

As per the ultrasound, you are 28 weeks and 4 days old today, 2 whole days ahead.

My lil beanie, my teeny-weeny tadpole is growing into a beautiful Princess!!! *sniff sniff*

What is Mommyhood Gonna be Like?

As we near the finish line, I keep wondering, what is it like to be a mother? All I can think of are the joyful and happy parts like holding you, comforting you so on and so forth; can’t imagine what the difficult parts would be like. Isn’t parenting difficult but rewarding at the same time too? Well, that’s what everyone says.

I wish there was a manual that parents and children could follow. How easy would that be?! Hahahahaha… But, as I keep saying life is not all about rules, regulations and a military-type attitude…!!!

We will sail on this river soon, you and I; and while doing so, we will take in the beauty of this world and everything it has to offer. Inshallaah.

Hot Hotter Hottest

It is HOT today. Can’t wait for winter. The weather was getting cooler but now the weather charts show that this going to be a HOT week! Aaaahhhhhhh… I hate summers. I want some cool air with a nice cup of coffee and doughnut. Yummmmmmm…

We are in our 28th week! Just 11 more weeks to go! Your grandparents have gotten everything ready for your arrival. I haven’t bought a single pregnancy item or baby stuff. Can you believe that! I can’t. When you have your first baby I will make sure I dress you up in cute pregnancy clothes and, just as your Nana and Nani have done, will buy all kinds of goodies for my grand-child. I will make sure you are pampered head to toe. Inshallaah!

I remember when you were 11 weeks old in my tummy. I was constantly sick and cranky. And, I feel the absolute same way now. I am nauseous with a splitting headache and the heat is back! Arghhhh… But, I am enjoying your jabs, they reassure me that you are well. I still can’t believe that we have come so far. Just you and me!

Specially Close

We started bonding from the time the angel came down and blew life into you.

Only I can feel your movements. No one else has felt you move yet.

We go everywhere together.

You respond to only my voice when I talk out loud.

You are part of me and no one else.

Well, you give only me sleepless nights! Hahahahaha…

Looks like what they say is right, there is no bond like a mother-child bond! You will understand this bond when you become a mother, just as I am understanding it now.

Life Inside Me?

Is there really a cute little life inside me? Could it be? I feel you inside me, is it real!? I still have difficulty believing it! You kick and move a lot nowadays, mashallaah. Harder too. You are like a moving part inside my body, so I know there is life in there. But, I still can’t believe that I am with a cute little baby inside of me!

When you come out, I am going to miss all the constant kicks and punches. I like playing with you, I keep shaking my belly and you respond by hitting!

Oh, I can’t wait to see you!

Shopping Shopping n More Shopping!

I am so excited! Your grand-parents (Nana, Nani and Billi-Nani) have bought so many cute clothes. Many many many many clothes, wraps, bibs, caps and booties!

I feel loved! 😀

I miss being there with them. I would have loved doing all that shopping with them. What fun!

Planning Forward

Days are passing by, weeks are going by and slowly but steadily we are moving forward towards the D-Day. Your Billi-Nani (my Khala) said something really important yesterday. She told me, “Alia, now it is not all about you. You are responsible for this new life. You have make decisions to move ahead that affect this new life positively. You can’t play around.”

Didn’t I know this? Yes, I knew this. But, when you hear it from someone else, it hits you harder. Me being pregnant with you and then, you coming into my life is/will be a big change in itself. But, does it stop there? No. I have to ensure that you are in a happy, loving and most importantly Islamic-oriented environment.

Firstly, I want you to be a good, strong practicing Muslimah. Not the types who pray five times a day but don’t mind shaking hands with men or wear hijaab that are tight-fitting, colorful, attractive clothing. I want you to try and practice Islam word by word as Allaah expects from us and as the Prophet (saws) asked us to do. I don’t want you to be swayed here and there by what people say that you should or should not do. This is my biggest challenge and fear too. I know it will be difficult, because it is very difficult for me. Being a patient Muslimah in this time and age is very very very very difficult. You don’t necessarily have the support of everyone around you, Islam is more openly ridiculed in front of you, little do people understand that Islam is perfect but the people practicing it are not perfect so mistakes happen.

This is my biggest fear for you. There are going to be many people around you who will try and sell you bogus fatawas; who will try and make what is haraam, halal; but I hope Allaah gives you the knowledge and wisdom to make the right choices. Just as I hope Allaah gives me the wisdom and knowledge to bring you up in an atmosphere where Allaah is praised and the Prophet set as an example; with the right people to support me.

Right now, I am trying to plan a little of what our future will look like. I am trying to stand back on my feet and looking for options that will be conducive to be a financially independent mom to you. Why is this step important? I want you to know that an independent woman is a stronger woman. You have the ability to make independent choices. You are not likely to be forced in an unhappy corner, unless you choose to be there. That’s one characteristic that my mom has and has imbibed in me. I didn’t think it was an important one until just recently I was rudely awakened to this fact.

I also want to homeschool you. Therefore, I have to choose my career carefully. One that will allow me the flexibility of being around you to teach you. Currently, I don’t like the idea of putting you in a school to get your education from teachers who are not inclined towards my goals and then, you having peers who could possibly not be a good example for you. I believe, and Allah knows best, that homeschooling is a far better option in creating a well educated and balanced Muslimah. Of course, I will be enrolling you in a variety of activities like sports, arts and play. I want you to be a sportsperson too and have an outlet for your creativity under professional people.

These are some of my plans for you. In the next three months, I will have to make decisions on what I want the next year to look like and what I would like to achieve as a mother, career-woman and daughter.

Decisions Decisions Decisions!

Ya Allaah, help me make the right decisions towards the prize, Jannat-al-Firdous! Ameen!