Will This be the Last Time?

Inshallaah, No. You were taken away from me on 17th January 2011, right after Fajr. I held on to you as tightly as possible. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want you to go. Oh, how I miss you.

The night before we slept together on one pillow. I hugged you and slept for almost the whole night. Somehow, I felt this would be our last night together. I kept singing, Come hug me for I don’t know if this beautiful night will ever happen again. I used to enjoy making you sleep close to me. You liked it too. Whenever you would be uncomfortable, I would hold you to my chest and we both we sleep. You were my comfort and I was yours. And, I loved that. I loved the fact that you found comfort in me. Now, I don’t know if that will ever be the case again.

I may never get to see your first roll or first step or first word. You may never address me as Mommy. I may never get to teach you nursery rhymes and alphabets. I may never feed you. I may never get to play with you. You may never love me. You may never recognize me as your Mommy.

My heart hurts. It hurts a lot. I feel as if my heart as been ripped in two and you have a piece. You are so far from me. So far. I don’t know what is going on with you. I miss you a lot. A lot. I miss you a lot.

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2 responses

  1. Hi, I have just stumbled across your blog and wanted to know why baby Fatima was taken away from you? I am hoping she has returned and you both are happy together, inshallah. Best wishes from Afiyah

    • Thank you, Afiyah. I am sorry for the late reply, it is very painful for me to come here. I have not seen my daughter since she was taken away, she was 6 weeks then. Patience and time heal hearts.

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