It seems like 10 years. Everyday I think of you. Everytime I make duaa for you. I keep looking at your photos and wonder how you look now. I wonder if you have reached any milestone. I wonder if you still remember me. I wonder if you miss me. You would enjoy it when I would sing in your ear, hold you close to me or just play with you. I would enjoy staring at you while you slept. I would fall asleep staring you.
I remember your 10 minute stretches and grunts when you would wake up. I remember how you would just take a sip and fall into a deep 10 minute sleep, only to wake up hungry as ever. I remember your cooing while I would talk to you.
I have been asked to keep my heart strong, in case I never see you again. But, I just can’t. You will always find me in tears when I see a baby or see your photo or even just think of you. I miss you so much and you are so far away. I yearn to hold you again.
Inshallaah, one day you will come to me, hug me and say, “Mommy, I love you”. And, that day I would be the most happiest person alive.