Another piece of advice

There are many people that you’re going to meet. Millions. But, you will certainly come across just a few who you won’t, or rather, can’t forget.

You may even be forced to stay apart from those you love. It’ll hurt a lot. And, I may not be there for you. I may not be there to cradle you in my arms and tell you, everything will be fine.

The best advice I can give you is find comfort in patience and prayer. That will certainly give to relief.

Trust in Allaah

My dearest baby, this world is full of difficulties and hurdles, to face these you need to put your trust in Allaah.

“And put Your trust in the Ever Living, one who dies not, and glorify his Praises, and Sufficient is He as the All-Knower of the sins of his slaves” Surah Furqan, Verse 58

Two indicators of faith are trust in Allah and submission to Him. This is the ultimate distinguishing line between the believers and unbelievers.

An unbeliever perceives the whole world as being in a state of chaos. According to him, the situations around him take place by pure coincidence. He wants to control every little detail in his life. Such a point of view is detrimental to the mental well-being of a person; he feels insecure and never trusts anyone. Nothing eases his fears for the future. He spends long hours planning ahead. On the contrary, a believer conceives the essence of this world as he is free from such insecurities. He believes that Allah holds control over every living thing and nothing occurs without His permission and knowledge. This fact is emphasized in Surah Ar-Rum, Verse 26, “To Him belongs whatever is in the heavens and the earth. All are obedient to Him.”

A very simple example of this can be seen in our day-to-day lives. You are a manager and the only employee of an organization. You have to do everything from cleaning the office to managing business affairs. That is really difficult and not an easy task. Now, you have 5 people working under you, doesn’t your life become easier? Why has your life become easier? You have delegated a part of your responsibilities to those working for you!! Similarly, Allah says, “Don’t waste time worrying over affairs, trust what has been destined to you by me”. All Allah is asking from us is our complete obedience, submission and trust in Him. Subhan-Allah, Quran is the truth!

A believer is fundamentally assured of the fact that “Allah regulates all affairs”, this is clearly mentioned in Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 2. A believer is well aware that all incidents which disrupt his normal course of life are predestined. That is why he never considers an incident to be an “unfortunate” one; though it may seem to be unfortunate. First of all, nothing is useless in Allah’s creations. Every creation has a reason and every creation is beautiful. Whatever the events affecting the life of a believer, they are definitely designed to bring goodness to him. Even if the event seems outwardly to be an unfortunate one, such as losing someone you love, a believer will persevere and put his trust in Allah. One of a characteristic of a Muslim is not feeling despair. If this were a characteristic of every individual, there would not be even one suicidal case in this world!

When we read the Quran and History we learn all the Messengers of Allah and their followers met with extremely difficult incidents. Take the example of the Sahabas when they first accepted Islam and were living in Makah. They were oppressed, threatened, assaulted and some were even killed. The most rich and affluent ones too such as Uthman ibn Affan went through this torture. Yet, they stood firm and strong and didn’t give up in their resolution. The essence of such an attitude lies solely in the consciousness a believer builds; that everything is destined by Allah. A believer is well aware of the fact that Allah always provides guidance to believers and surely places no burden on any soul that it cannot bear. There are many verses in the Quran where emphasis has been laid on the trust of the believer:
Say: “Nothing shall ever happen to us except what Allah has ordained for us. He is Our Maulâ (Lord, Helper and Protector).” and In Allah let the believers put their trust. Surah Al-Tawba, verse 51)

At this point, we must avoid an essential misconception: putting the course of events in the care of Allah in no way means avoidance of becoming involved in daily affairs. There are many who take no efforts in resolving problems in their lives. Instead, they just say, everything is in the hands of Allah. On the contrary, a believer deals with every stage of a problem and shoulders all responsibilities. They take the initiative in anything they undertake by taking Allah as a guardian and helper.

I will end by stating a few promises that Allah has made to those who put his trust in Him.

Allah has promised a true believer protection from the temptations of Satan. In the Quran this is expressed in Surah An-Nahl, Verse 99, Verily! He (Satan) has no power over those who believe and put their trust only in their Lord (Allah).

Allah has also promised the true believer His compassion on the Day of Judgment, as mentioned in Surah Ash-Shura, Verse 36, So whatever You have been given is but a passing enjoyment for This worldly life, but that which is with Allah (Paradise) is better and more lasting for those who believe (in the Oneness of Allah Islamic Monotheism) and put their trust In their Lord (concerning All of their affairs).

My love, this is an important lesson which if learnt and perfected, life becomes very easy. Pain becomes manageable. Despair becomes non-existant. Eeman becomes stronger, subhanallaah. Always say ‘Alhamdullilaah a’ala kulli haal’.

Being Grateful

I realized that from the time you were taken away, I have been begging Allaah to give you back to me. I have been crying in front of him for forgiveness. Little did I realize that I had much to be grateful for too. I spoke to a very dear friend of mine, N, and she turned my attention to all that I should be thanking Allaah for. Alhamdullilaah aala kulli haal.

No doubt, I am in pain. But, at the same time, I have bought myself closer to Allaah. And, that in itself is something I should be thanking Allaah for. After every difficulty comes ease, and I will have my ease too. Allaah has promised this ease to those who are patient, and He keeps his promises. This is an important lesson I want you to learn. Life is full of difficulties and hardships, but there are also times of ease and this ease is promised by Allaah to those who are patient and have faith in Him alone.

There is no one worthy of worship except Allaah. And, be grateful to Him in times of ease and difficulty.

I Look Like a Mom, GASP!

Today Daddy took a picture of me in all my pregnancy-glow and glory. But, when I saw the snap, I couldn’t believe what I was looking at! I looked like a mom! I no longer looked like what I thought I looked like. I thought I still looked like my mommy’s girl with a bulging belly. But, NO, I looked like a mom. Oh my God, I look like a mom! I am going to be a mom. A mommy. A mother. A mom. Mom… MOM!!!!!!

Calming down… Calming down… Breathing… Breathing… I can do this… Calm down… CALM DOWN… JUST CALM DOWN… Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I am going to be a mom!

2 more months to go and I will have a little baby. A real baby not a toy! A little human being, totally dependent on me. Not only to just feed and bathe and love but also bring up as a responsible Muslimah!

Somehow I feel at ease (though I do get worked up more than I would like) as I keep asking Allaah to give me the wisdom and knowledge in bringing you up. I only want his guidance because that’s how you will turn out to be one of his slaves. I don’t want for you to be a slave to your desires and stupid shaytaan, something that you will surely struggle with. But, with the right people surrounding you and Allaah guiding you, I am sure you will be ok.

Now, all I got to do is make sure you and I are surrounded by people who work towards spreading Islaam (not changing it) and make loads and loads and loads of duaa for you and me.

I can and can’t wait to be your Mommy! Too many emotions in life, so many that it drives me nuts.

What is Mommyhood Gonna be Like?

As we near the finish line, I keep wondering, what is it like to be a mother? All I can think of are the joyful and happy parts like holding you, comforting you so on and so forth; can’t imagine what the difficult parts would be like. Isn’t parenting difficult but rewarding at the same time too? Well, that’s what everyone says.

I wish there was a manual that parents and children could follow. How easy would that be?! Hahahahaha… But, as I keep saying life is not all about rules, regulations and a military-type attitude…!!!

We will sail on this river soon, you and I; and while doing so, we will take in the beauty of this world and everything it has to offer. Inshallaah.

First Rib Kick and Ending of Ramadan

I asked you to not rib-kick me! You naughty lil babe! I was watching a documentary on the Soviet War in Afghanistan, enjoying it and learning from it at the same time; and I feel you giving me a good kick or punch in my right rib.

Please, don’t give me stronger ones there. I enjoy your kicks and punches but I am sure I am not going to enjoy being rib-kicked! Todays light kick was a slight discomfort and can only imagine how a nice kick in the rib would feel like!

Anyway, just as your mother never listened to your nani, I can’t expect you to listen to me. It very likely that you will have a mind of your own and won’t shy from following your heart, as that is what defines both your parents! Parenting you is going to be fun and difficult. I am not so worried about it, as I have my mommy (your nani). Hehehehhehehe… She knows me inside out and knows all the tricks to deal with a kid just like me, inshallaah!

Ramadan ends tomorrow! My most persistent duaa has been that you are delivered in Bahrain, straight into your Nani’s arms. I cannot imagine anyone being more thrilled and happy when you arrive than your Nana and Nani. You have wonderful grandparents and I have nothing to worry about as long as they are around. They have been my cushion and support; and have no doubt that you will find the same comfort in them too, inshallaah.

All about Daddy!

This has nothing to do with your pregnancy but everything to do with important characteristics that we want to instill in you as a child.

Your daddy is a very hardworking man. It is 16th Ramadan now, he is fasting but at the same time taking long 3-4 hour trips to Cairo. Sometimes, he leaves by Dhuhr only to return the next day at Fajr. During his time in Cairo, he is busy to his neck trying to get stuff done and people organized. It is not easy! The heat without good air-conditioning can really put off a fasting person. I know, I would back away, but he doesn’t. He perseveres and gets his job done.

We want you to be the same, hardworking, focussed, determined and strong. This ummah needs a lot of help and I want you to not only help but lead.

Yesterday was not fun for daddy. Things weren’t going the way he had organized them and there was a lot of time wasted. Obviously, he was annoyed and not happy, but he still made the trip down to his friend to help him. His friend, Abdul Jabbar, lives 2 hours away from Cairo and had some pinched nerve problem because of which he couldn’t walk for long. Daddy decided to bring him to Mansourah to visit a chiropractor here, during his treatment he would live in our house. Why am I telling you all this?

Imagine, 3-4 hour journey to Cairo, in the heat, little accomplished work-wise; all this leads to a cranky crusty daddy. But, he wanted to help his friend for the sake of Allaah, not for money, only to gain Allaah’s pleasure. He put his inconvenience to one side and focussed on what needs to be done.

We want to inculcate the same in you. Some characteristics you will acquire through genes and some through environment. Inshallaah, Allaah will make it easy for us to provide you surroundings that successfully teach all of these to make you a better Muslimah!

How Much You Mean to Me!

Tomorrow you will be 24 weeks old as a fetus! How time flies… I remember the first time I knew I was pregnant, I was all excited and scared all at the same time. Excited because I would have an angel to dote on and scared of losing you.

Most of my days now are filled with plans of what you can do and what you can’t do, of course because I deem it safe or unsafe. What your nursery should look like and must-have. The number of bottles of disinfectant I need to stock up on, don’t want any germ on my baby. I know, I sound like this crazy, OCD-ridden, possessive female, but I just can’t help not having this protective attitude towards you.

I am really hoping that this wears off as I want you to go ahead and explore and experiment. I don’t want my craziness be an impediment to your growth. Aaaaaahhhh, this motherhood thing is crazy!

There is going to be a day when you think that I stop you from doing everything, when you think that I suffocate you, when you think I don’t know how you feel, when you think I am the cause of your unhappiness; at that time the only solace I will be able to find is that I know I am doing it for your good and safety. Your every tear and sadness will surely break my heart into a thousand little pieces and I may be more hurt than you, but I am your mother. And, mothers are meant to guide, protect, love and heal.

Because I love you like a crazy woman, I am going to do things that you may not like or understand. Now, I know and understand my mothers’ actions and so will you know and understand too. That is just the way it is meant to be, the cycle of life!

Allowing my heart to be torn and ripped apart for your safety and happiness is something I can deal with. I may not be able to deal with you being hurt, just because I wasn’t able to protect you the way I am supposed to as a mother.

I hope you read this one day and realize that your mother with all of her imperfections and mistakes still loves you to pieces. Right now, I can’t wait to hold and hug you and feel you close to me. But, I have a feeling that I would want the same even when you are 10, 20, 30 until I live!

I love you, sweetie! You are my little angel!